Summary: What if everything went very wrong in Volterra? Edward's decisions have led to the death of two family members and Bella's becoming a vampire. The Cullen family has fallen apart. How can you live forever when you've lost those who you've loved the most?
They say vampires have only a vague recollection of human life. They say those frail human memories fade with time. I wish it was true in my case.
I remember everything – his face, his voice, his touch. The way he used to smile at me, the way he'd say my name. And the moment when he chose death over me becoming one of his kind, over our life together.
Well, he'd died for nothing. And left me alone.
I had another story in mind for this week, and I enjoyed reading it, I really did, but I was having a hard time writing about it. So I did what I do best. I put it off and started reading other fics.
I’m glad I did, because I really love this.
This is Miss Dare’s first fanfic, and the 1st chaper has this little disclaimer: It is my first fanfiction ever so I stay safely pretty close to canon. It is also my first piece of writing in English, please note English is not my mother language, so sometimes I may sound... strange.
Some of the chapters are un-betaed, but it is still one of the better written stories on FF.net. The errors are few and far between, and don’t interrupt the flow of the story.
It’s not terribly long, 16 chapters and a touch over 30,000 words. I read it in one evening, although I think if it had been longer, I just would have gone to bed later.
The story picks up about 2 years after Bella and Alice rush off to Italy to save Edward from the Volturi, and is written entirely from Bella’s pov.
When they arrived, rather than promise to change Bella in order to leave, Edward refuses and is killed, while Alice and Bella are held captive. After extracting a promise from Bella that she will take care of Jasper, Alice bites her before being taken to see the brothers and killed in an alleged misunderstanding.
When Carlisle come to take her home, Bella is unaware of how much time has passed, and she has very little awareness of what is going on around her.
“But you see, since my change I’ve been having some troubles with keeping with time. You know, all that not sleeping thing and not having to move and stuff. So one moment I do something and the next it’s a week or a month ahead.”
It is a unique look at Bella’s reaction to both the changes she has gone through as a result of becoming a vampire, and the grief, anger and guilt she feels as a result of the death of Alice and Edward. Her disassociation from the world around her is mesmerising, and as I felt her come back to life, I felt like I was too.
Jasper has also taken it very hard, and left the Cullens soon after they learnt of the death of Alice and Edward. While visiting their graves in Forks, Bella heard from Jake that Jasper had also been by, and that he seemed to be in pretty bad shape. She then, remembering her promise to Alice and with help from Emmett, sets off to find him.
They spend a lot of time together, not returning to the family. Working their way across the country, healing themselves and each other. They stop in Phoenix at Bella's request, and against Jaspers better judgement, so she can go and see her mother. This results in a major set back for her, and even bigger setback for poor Jasper.
All the usual suspects are there, and for all that we don't see much of them, Miss Dare does a pretty good job of capturing their personalities. Carlisle and Esme are still the comforting parental figures, although at a loss as to what to do for their children who are hurting, while also dealing with their own grief. Rosalie and Emmett are more subdued, and Rose is dealing with the guilt of having set it all in motion by telling Edward about Alice's vision in the first place. As a whole the Cullens are a damaged family unit, but despite the loss of two members they are not broken.
The epilogue is incredibly short, but I loved it. I think it gives more of a peek into Miss Dare's mind, and I like what I see.
I thought it was a great story, and well written. The relationship that grows between Jasper and Bella is a natural progression of their friendship, and although the ending, and even the epilogue is not all sweetness and light, there is sunshine. It is a happily ever after.